Little Johnny is the king of mischief, sarcasm, and hilarious comebacks. Whether he’s outsmarting his teachers, embarrassing his parents, or just delivering the perfect punchline, his jokes never fail to crack us up.
If you’re looking for the best Little Johnny jokes to share with friends, post on social media, or just brighten your day, you’re in the right place. Get ready to laugh!
Little Johnny at School – Too Smart for His Own Good
- Teacher: Johnny, why are you doing your math homework on the floor?
Little Johnny: Because you told me not to use tables. - Teacher: If I had five apples in one hand and six apples in the other, what would I have?
Little Johnny: Really big hands! - Teacher: How do you spell crocodile?
Little Johnny: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L
Teacher: That’s wrong!
Little Johnny: Maybe, but you asked how I spell it. - Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence with the word “defense” in it.
Little Johnny: The dog jumped over de-fence. - Teacher: What’s the chemical formula for water?
Little Johnny: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O
Teacher: That’s not right!
Little Johnny: You said it’s H to O! - Teacher: What’s the capital of France?
Little Johnny: The letter F! - Teacher: If you have 10 chocolates and your friend takes away 3, how many do you have left?
Little Johnny: 10. I’m not sharing. - Teacher: Johnny, if you don’t stop talking, I’ll send you outside!
Little Johnny: With this weather? Thanks! - Teacher: Johnny, what is the past tense of “think”?
Little Johnny: Thunk? - Teacher: Why didn’t you do your homework?
Little Johnny: I thought you wanted me to practice social distancing from it. - Teacher: Your handwriting is so bad! What will you do when you grow up?
Little Johnny: Become a doctor. - Teacher: Name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
Little Johnny: Me! - Teacher: Why is your paper blank?
Little Johnny: Because I thought the test was optional. - Teacher: Johnny, spell Mississippi.
Little Johnny: M-I-S-S-I… um… can I buy a vowel? - Teacher: What comes after 69?
Little Johnny: Mouthwash!
Little Johnny and His Parents – Too Honest for His Own Good
- Mom: How do I look, Johnny?
Little Johnny: Are you asking how you look or how you want to feel? - Dad: Where did all the cookies go?
Little Johnny: Ask Mom. She hides snacks like we owe her money. - Mom: Your little sister’s name is Grace. It means kindness. Do you know what your name means?
Little Johnny: Probably “mistake.” - Dad: Johnny, stop lying! When I was your age, I never lied!
Little Johnny: Wow! How old were you when you started? - Mom: How was school today?
Little Johnny: You tell me, you follow the teacher on Facebook. - Dad: I work hard to put food on this table.
Little Johnny: Nobody told you to quit being a YouTuber. - Mom: You need to eat more vegetables.
Little Johnny: So do you, but I don’t say anything. - Dad: Back in my day, we respected our elders!
Little Johnny: Back in your day, they were probably still alive. - Mom: Johnny, did you finish your homework?
Little Johnny: Did you finish your diet? - Dad: When I was your age, I had a job.
Little Johnny: That explains why you’re so grumpy now. - Mom: You should be more like your sister!
Little Johnny: Then you should have stopped after having her. - Dad: Son, you need to get good grades to be successful in life.
Little Johnny: Tell that to the YouTuber making millions playing Minecraft. - Mom: Johnny, why are you so naughty?
Little Johnny: Genetics. - Dad: Money doesn’t grow on trees!
Little Johnny: Then why do banks have branches? - Mom: Johnny, you need to learn to share!
Little Johnny: That’s funny, because I don’t see you sharing your WiFi password with the neighbors.
Little Johnny and Science – A Genius in the Making
- Teacher: Johnny, what’s the boiling point of water?
Little Johnny: Depends on the weather. - Teacher: Why is the sky blue?
Little Johnny: Because if it was green, we wouldn’t call it the sky. - Teacher: Name one planet other than Earth.
Little Johnny: Pluto… because I feel bad for it. - Teacher: What’s the difference between electricity and lightning?
Little Johnny: I can charge my phone with one of them. - Teacher: What’s heavier, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?
Little Johnny: Both weigh the same, but cleaning up the feathers would be worse. - Teacher: How does a scientist freshen their breath?
Little Johnny: With experi-mints! - Teacher: What are three states of matter?
Little Johnny: Tired, hungry, and confused. - Teacher: Why does the moon shine at night?
Little Johnny: Because it doesn’t have to deal with us during the day. - Teacher: Why do we have seasons?
Little Johnny: Because Mother Nature is indecisive. - Teacher: Why do we breathe oxygen?
Little Johnny: Because breathing anything else would be a bad idea. - Teacher: What’s Newton’s first law?
Little Johnny: If you leave your room messy, it will stay messy. - Teacher: Why does ice float?
Little Johnny: Because it’s tired of sinking in my soda. - Teacher: What’s the smallest unit of life?
Little Johnny: My allowance. - Teacher: Why is gravity important?
Little Johnny: Because without it, my grades would be even lower. - Teacher: What’s the speed of light?
Little Johnny: Faster than me when Mom finds my report card.
Conclusion
Little Johnny jokes never get old. Whether he’s outsmarting his teachers, making his parents regret asking questions, or just being his mischievous self, his humor is always on point.
If you laughed at these, share them with a friend! Because laughter is contagious… and so is Johnny’s sass.
